For many families the household budget can be an intense source of familial conflict. Not everyone always agrees with how the money should be spent or how it should be managed. More often than not the rest of the family reluctantly defers to whoever brings home the most pay when it comes to financial decision making, but many times this can cause resentment towards that person.

Money is an important part of any family’s life and many times family peace and cohesiveness are threatened by the lack of a sound financial plan that has little or no direction. By including everyone in the decision making process and setting a list of priorities and goals that everyone agrees on you can bring peace and harmony to the family money situation.

Here are four steps to bringing peace to your family budget:

Set Priorities – Priorities and goals are not necessarily the same thing. These are things in your family’s life that you want to focus on in the long term. This could be anything from purchasing a new home, college savings, or any other long term financial plan. The goals you set in step 2 are specific targets you need to hit in order to bring your priorities to fruition.

Do not set to many priorities. No more than 2 or 3 at the time. Remember these are long term plans that will have a positive impact on your family’s life. As you and your family set your priorities write them down and keep them conspicuous. This will give your entire family the focus they need to meet these plans.

List Your Goals- Once your priorities are set you can start listing the goals that will support the priorities. Goals are specific and measurable conditions that are met in such a way that they bring you closer to fulfilling your priorities.

When you set a goal it should be a target that is achievable with a sound financial plan that starts with the family budget. A goal can be paying off a certain debt in a certain amount of time or saving a set sum of money in a year’s time. If you set one to two goals per priority you will find yourself staying focused on the task at hand.

Meet Your Goals – Once you have set your priorities and goals it is time to start working towards them. The first step is the implementation of the family budget. This will allow you to track the family money, both income and expenses. It can be as simple as writing it down in a notebook or you can buy personal accounting software that helps you manage your family finances. Whichever method you use it is imperative that you track your family’s money with a budget.

Periodic Evaluations – From time to time check to see how you are progressing towards your goals and priorities. This is something the whole family can do together. As you check off goals met it will give you and your family member a certain feeling of satisfaction. As you meet your goals and then your priorities re-evaluate your current situation and set new ones that can be met.

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Whether you’ve just started a family and are new to the lifestyle, or you have several kids as old as high school age, it’s likely your finances could use some help. If you are in debt, aside from a mortgage, you need to make some changes. If you have no retirement plan because you think you can’t afford it, you need some help, too.

Debt comes in all shapes and sizes. You could have car loans, small business loans, loans from family, credit card debt, or money owed from any type of financing. You need to find a way to either increase your income, decrease your spending, or do a combination of the two in order to have extra income to pay off your debt. Once you’ve paid off your debt, you can start funneling more of your excess income into a retirement account.

By making a family budget, you can adjust your spending to start saving. I call it a family budget because your whole family needs to cooperate to make it work. You and your spouse need to be on the same page. If you make a budget and your spouse continues to spend more than you planned, your hard work will go to waste. Likewise, if you continue handing cash to your kids whenever they ask, not only will you be wasting more money, but your kids will never learn to work for their money. Make them get a job and start earning their money.

It’s important that you pay off your debt as soon as possible because your debt will keep growing and earning interest. You can and should open up a 401K or 403B, if you work for the government or nonprofit, and start contributing to it. I recommend contributing a small amount now in order to take advantage of time and compounding, and then increase your contribution substantially once you’ve paid off your debt.

If you feel like you don’t spend a lot but are still living paycheck to paycheck, you need to take a serious look at how you’re living. You don’t have to be going into debt and be a shopaholic to be living above your means. It’s the small things that can save you money. Cut back on your television subscription, downgrade your car to get rid of car payments, buy store brands, or skip your morning coffee. Maybe it’s your residence that is doing you in? Buy a smaller house or a cheaper apartment until you get your finances under control.

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